Comments on: Not My Kid, Not My Problem…Until It is.

By: Susan Wisdom

Susan Wisdom — Tue, 20 Feb 2018 22:32:12 +0000

Thank you! I so appreciate you. (I noticed I wrote ‘conservation’ instead of ‘conversation’). I guess you knew what I meant.

By: deb

deb — Tue, 20 Feb 2018 12:48:42 +0000

From what I understand, yes, ACEs can make you very vulnerable to this stuff the rest of your life. I think that’s why it’s so heart wrenching and why early intervention is so important! I’ll do some more research as well and if I come across anything promising, I’ll pass it along. Meanwhile, reaching out to all of us who love you is a great first step! Love you, too. I have such fond memories of your house as a child.

By: Susan Wisdom

Susan Wisdom — Tue, 20 Feb 2018 06:49:14 +0000

Thank you for listening, Deb. It was just so coincidental that I posted something about ACEs and Nadine Burke Harris, and the next day find your essay talking about the exact same thing, including citing her presentation. As to why I wrote you, knowing that you are not a therapist, was just because I wondered if you had encountered anyone with buried ACEs and then later had a major trauma with resulting PTSD. And would the PTSD awaken the buried ACEs and combine to make me into a bowl of goulash? So then any therapy would need to address both. I thank you for listening and believe that this conservation has helped. Now I am better prepared to find someone to help me. My last therapist helped me and we touched on EMDR before saying he thought he couldn’t go any farther with me after a year and a half. I needed something deeper. I always said that my childhood made me stronger, but I guess I have work to do on my 9 ACEs. Thanks so much for listening. Love you, Debi.

By: deb

deb — Sun, 18 Feb 2018 23:43:00 +0000

First of all, thank you for sharing and I’m really sorry to hear about the horrible experiences you went through. No kid should have to deal with that. It sounds like you developed a lot of coping strategies through the years. I am not a therapist – I let the horses do that work for me. But from everything I’ve read and learned, ACEs and PTSD go hand in hand. Absolutely. I’m a big fan of equine therapy, of course, but my daughter had a lot of luck with EMDR. It helped her quite a bit. I don’t know if that’s available in your area? Again, I’m not a therapist; I wish I could help more. Know you are loved!

By: deb

deb — Sun, 18 Feb 2018 23:39:40 +0000

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment! I agree.

By: Susan Wisdom

Susan Wisdom — Sun, 18 Feb 2018 23:09:27 +0000

Hi, Debi. This is your Aunt Susan. I did not know you were doing this kind of work. You are such a wonderful, compassionate woman. I have been searching for some answers about myself. I stumbled on and posted on FB a presentation by Nadine Burke Harris just yesterday. It was like a cymbals went off in my head. And the very next day, today, I find this article via your mom and Larry. I took the ACE quiz and my score was 9. As the oldest child in our very dysfunctional childhood, I had to be the strong one. I fought for my siblings to try to protect them. I could go on and on with the crappy childhood experiences. So I built a box that all the bad stuff could go in. I put that box with a lock on a
very high shelf in my heart and mind. Over the years there was some leakage from the box, but I just tightened the lock. Forward to Lonnie, bypassing the teen years because that’s a whole other story. I was determined to be the best wife ever. Then super mom to my kids, leaving that tightly locked box on the shelf. Then I had to be the best student when I went back to school. Then the best ever EA working with special ed children. Then being the best 24-7 caretaker for Lonnie. I was looking for him and heard the shot. It was the most horrible thing ever seeing him like that. He was my partner, my best friend, the love of my life for 42 years. I lost my memory for much of the year before and then after. I have a host of health issues, some from before like my ever present migraine for 30 years, and some new ones. I have PTSD now with mostly all the symptoms. I can’t seem to pull myself out of it. I was terrible with helping my kids with their grief. A quote that hit home with me “Grief broke me and I lost myself.” I only feel safe here at my home. I have become a hermit. My reason for writing you: Do you think my ACEs in the box has broken apart and is now part of my PTSD? April 23 will be 4 years. I dream of him every night. I even wake myself talking to him. I have been in counseling but am looking for someone now. Socorro doesn’t offer much. In fact, talk therapy doesn’t do much besides keep it in the forefront. Can you suggest any other kind of treatment? I am looking into video psychology. I didn’t realize I was going to write you a book. Love you, Debi.

By: Lori West

Lori West — Sun, 18 Feb 2018 21:10:09 +0000

Thank you Deb for sharing this video and your thoughts on this difficult subject. These are children who have been damaged in some way and we need to find ways to make them whole again.

By: deb

deb — Sun, 18 Feb 2018 18:08:34 +0000

Thank you for reading and sharing! xos

By: deb

deb — Sun, 18 Feb 2018 18:08:13 +0000

So true. We can ALL do something. We’re not helpless here.

By: deb

deb — Sun, 18 Feb 2018 18:07:51 +0000

Love this. Thank you!