Frankly, I’m sick of myself.
It’s very hard to take my mind off of my own stress and issues; some days, seemingly impossible.
I got an amazing gut check from Anne Lamott this morning, in her book, Bird by Bird. She said, “To be engrossed by something outside ourselves is a powerful antidote for the rational mind, the mind that so frequently has its head up its own ass – seeing things in such a narrow and darkly narcissistic way that it presents a colo-rectal theology, offering hope to no one.”
Basically, when my head is up my own ass, all I see is, well, ass. It becomes my religion.
Self-focus is like building myself from shifting sand. When I go to bed tonight, is this really the footprint I will have left in the world?
Or can I do something, one thing, to turn the spotlight from my darkly narcissistic heart onto something bigger?
I want to build myself from steel and bones. From love.