Deb
Reader, Thinker, Writer, Lover.
Poetry
October 26, 2018

Written by Posted in Blog Posts, Poetry Comments 0
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Look up

Notice that leaf

on an uppermost branch.

The wind challenges

its heroic grasp.

 *

All of its treemates

have long since released

their tenuous hold on life

blowing as they do into

far pastures and lanes,

byways fill with their corpses.

 *

They reveal

as they die

the winter’s architecture

of the cottonwood tree-

A ghost in black relief-

the autumn moon watching

through its arms.

 *

Look up

The leaf is holding on

to what is not meant for it -

Holding on

to this idea of immortality -

all the while losing

its grip

on the one life it has known.

*

This leaf

is one of millions of leaves

come and gone

in this ghost’s lifetime.

*

In autumn we say goodbye.

October 17, 2018

Light

Written by Posted in Blog Posts, Poetry, Youth at Risk Comments 4
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I want to be a light for you

*

shining the way

down the path,

to the doors,

around the obstacles.

*

I have no strength to give you,

No solutions to offer you.

*

I can’t pick you up,

can’t carry you,

can’t force you to see.

 *

All I can do

is say -

Hey look!

Did you notice that?

Do you see the choice?

Can you feel your power?

*

All I can do is

Light up the dark places -

show you another way to walk.

 *

All I can do is

Shine a light in your heart,

point out what was already there -

*

which is Strength Unimaginable

Goodness Unrealized

Resilience Untapped.

*

My light can speak truth

Into your dark places.

 *

Let me be your light.

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I couldn’t look at her face

One more day.

Her cry was weak

My milk no longer strong enough

For a toddler

But I had no choice

No options

No food.

*

And the eldest one

11, a child-

a man with a gun

had grabbed her

had…touched her

had laughed

and I knew next time

it wouldn’t be just touch

*

every day was a struggle

a battle

just to eat

to feed my daughters

to protect them

from evil men

and so I ran.

*

I put our lives in the hands

Of a man I didn’t know

For 1000 small coins

I had squirreled away

From carrying garbage

*

And the journey was one

I could never repeat

But I repeated

“It will be worth it”

even as the man took me

my breasts heavy with milk

dripping as my baby sat in

her sister’s arms.

They were both crying

But he had said me,

Or her.

So it was me.

*

These girls are my life

I will give my life

I thought

It will be worth it.

*

We reached the end

And I thanked God

And wrapped my arms around my girls

And cried with joy.

We had reached the promised land.

*

The man turned to leave us and said

Cross there

When the sun goes down.

I said, “Wait, with you?”

He laughed

And squeezed my breast

And said, “Don’t you wish”

*

I had lost the ability

To even flinch

From the indignities

*

We hid until the sun

Dropped below

And then hid longer.

When all was quiet

We hid longer.

*

And then I woke her

And didn’t wake the baby,

Strapped her to my chest,

And we walked where

He had pointed.

*

The lights were blinding

The yells deafening

Chaos filled the quiet night

*

I grabbed for her

And they grabbed for her

and she was screaming

No! No entiendes!”

And they didn’t understand

As they dragged her away.

*

And they asked me questions

And I was sobbing for her

And desperate to find to her

And they were unwrapping the baby

And I was clutching her

And I was screaming

And she was screaming

And I was holding her

So tightly I thought I would break her

And they wrenched my wrists

And they tied them

And they took her

Her little legs kicking

Her little nails scratching

Her little teeth biting

And I screamed

And her screams stopped

When the car door closed

And my milk drenched my shirt

A waste.

*

Photo by Roi Dimor on Unsplash

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No one ever wrote your name in the stars.

*

Never sat under the night sky

And pointed up, saying,

See how it makes an A, and an N?

You belong to the universe.

You’re made of stardust, child.

*

No one laid under a tree

In the shade on a sunny day

And pointed up, saying,

See how the world spins?

How all of nature is swirling with joy

Over who you will be?

You belong to Mother Nature.

You’re made of the earth, child.

*

No one wrapped you up

When you were angry or sad or scared

And pointed to your heart, saying,

See how you feel?

It’s okay. I’m here.

You belong to me.

You’re made of me, child.

*

Who taught you to

Narrow your eyes

Suspicious of everything

And everyone

Who will let you down…

Because they will let you down?

*

Who has said,

You’re not stardust,

You’re just dust.

You’re not made of earth,

You’re just dirt.

You’re not made of me,

I don’t want you?

*

Give me a chance, child.

*

Let me show you

The glimmer of stardust in your eyes,

And how your horse responds

To the earth in your body,

You two made of the same clay.

*

Let me show you

That you are me,

*

And I am you,

*

And we belong to each other,

*

And that it is safe to hope.

*

“The cosmos is with us. We are made of star-stuff. We are the way for the universe to know itself.”

- Carl Sagan

September 27, 2016

A Fig

Written by Posted in Horse Magic, Poetry Comments 6
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I call myself a Teacher

but today,

the horse called me

Observer.

~~

It said, stand back.

Watch how I gather

unruly energy

and place it,

quiet, but white hot

in their bellies.

~~

Watch how I pluck

unintelligible words from the air

and make them clear.

~~

Opaque hearts,

now transparent.

Inscrutable eyes,

open.

~~

Observe, teacher,

how I take the shy

the loner

the heartbroken

the sad

and lean into them –

filling the dark holes,

demanding presence.

~~

Making them forget for a moment

their cuts

their violence

their hunger.

~~

And so, today, I am not a teacher.

Like Amos,

I am not a prophet,

nor am I the son of a prophet,

but I am a herdsman,

plucking wild figs.”

~~

I’m gathering their stories.

Hold out your hand -

I’m giving them to you.

September 2, 2016

Woman.

Written by Posted in Poetry Comments 0
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Hard lines, curves.

Circles bringing you

back around,

spiraling in and out

of the heart.

Broken pieces

hidden under strength,

color peeking from

behind black and white

and black oozing

from the inner sanctuary.

And abstraction,

An Actuality –

housed in the same body.

Mindful

distracted

Holding on

looking away.

Shapes and dribbles

held up by borders

of another’s design

struggling to break

Free.

Voice lodged in the throat

head down

bent low

walking forward

Bridges in and out of

the heart

Leading to here

and to heaven

and to hell.

________________________________________

**inspired by the abstract expressionist painting  “Woman” by Judith Godwin – 1954.

April 23, 2016

Written by Posted in Poetry Comments 1
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In the space 

between winter sunrises

and summer sunsets

lies a brief moment 

of Technicolor green.

~~

It pours over my eyelids

satiating the thirst.

I blink

and squint

and blink again,

wondering if this is a dream 

or a wish

I’ll wake up from.

~~

It heats up my corneas 

and burns my retinas.

I close my eyes

and still, I see it – 

emerald

jade

blades and leaves 

shouting their birth,

their significance 

in the order of things.

~~

I’m drunk

I’m dizzy.

I swim in the briefness

the gaiety

the reverie

of spring.

March 9, 2016

Written by Posted in Horse Magic, Poetry Comments 1
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Sometimes I catch her gazing at the sunrise.

She faces east

and looks up, staring

as she chews her hay.

~~

She seems to be contemplating;

but, what? Read more…

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My thoughts have exploded into a million pieces and are floating flotsam above my head. I try to reach up and catch them and piece them back together, but they turn to dust on my fingertips. I let go and look up and they’ve formed back into broken bits of gravel, irritating my mind.

 

I arrive and sit on the mat, placed in my favorite spot where the sunlight filters through the window; and I begin to rein in my breath.

 

Read more…

December 8, 2015

Written by Posted in Blog Posts, Prose Comments 8
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Reach In: to your own heart. Reach in and wait patiently until you find the light. Reach in and meditate, levitate, wrap your arms around your humanness. Reach in and center.

 Reach Out: to a friend. Reach out to someone in need. Reach out and hug a furry creature. Reach out to your mom or your grandma. Reach out and connect with real people.

 

Turn Off: social media. Turn off the news. Turn off the voices around you that are negative and biting. Turn off materialism.

 Turn On: your goodness. Turn on a teapot or a stove to cook a good meal. Turn on a funny Christmas movie. Turn on your partner.

 

Sit Out: of arguments. Sit out of parties you don’t want to go to. Sit out of self-judgement. Sit out of the obligation to send cards or buy gifts.

 Sit In: on a sunrise or a moon set. Sit in on a good TED talk. Sit in on your family dinner. Sit in silence until your brain stops buzzing. Sit in on the inner workings of your heart.

 

Put Down: resentment and jealousy. Put down your credit card. Put down that rock before you throw it.

 Pick Up: the perfect pear at the supermarket. Pick up your favorite book. Pick up the laundry on your bedroom floor. Pick up an olive branch and hand it to your enemy.

 

 Make a good cup of coffee. Make up with someone. Make out with someone.

 

Sow goodness and mercy.

Reap goodness and mercy.