I always intended to read to her more.

I was going to teach her how to cook.

I meant to show her the best way to clean a bathroom.

I always wanted to cuddle up on the couch nightly with a book.

We intended to hike Maroon Bells.

It’s October, and the days and weeks are really flying by, now. I feel like I’m’ watching life happen on fast-forward…the images and stories and moments are flashing before my eyes so quickly that it takes my breath away.

I didn’t expect it.

When she was 2, or 8, or 14, it sort of felt like she’d be with me forever. I knew intellectually she wouldn’t, but I certainly didn’t know what it would feel like when time began running out.

And so I put things on the back burner, procrastinating because I was tired or busy or it didn’t seem all that important at the time.

I skipped some bedtime stories and a few nights of helping with homework. I surfed the internet during some soccer games. We postponed the hiking trip for other things. I didn’t always ask for her best story at dinner. I kicked her out of my bed because I was sleepy.

 

I’m not suggesting that we need to be perfect mothers. I’m just looking at childhood from the other side, and I’m telling you: Don’t Wait.

Don’t put off what you want to do with your kids.

Don’t delay that family vacation or those late night chats or the snuggles in bed while reading together.

 

Even at the beginning of this senior year, I thought we had time, but I’m lucky if I see her 1-2 hours a week. There is a boyfriend and volleyball and tutoring and besties…., not to mention she’s graduating early. We won’t even have a ceremony to mark the end – just finals, Christmas, and dropping her off at school.

 

It’s all as it should be, but I find myself regretting those moments that are lost to me forever.

 

Don’t wait, mama.

Don’t wait.