I always fancied myself as one of those people who would smile in the face of adversity. You know the type: The Silver Lining Folks. The Lemonade from Lemons Brigade. If something bad happens, they find a way to think positively about it. I really did hope I could be that person. I practiced my generous, patient attitude when all was well; and I must say, I was pretty darn good at it.

 

But, I recently broke my arm, and turns out I’m more this type of person:

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Yeah, that’s me. Except sprinkle in some F-bombs and picture me throwing my hair accessories across the room and bursting into tears when I can’t put my hair into a ponytail. Or yelling obscenities when I can’t figure out how to squeeze conditioner into my hand in the shower. Or, best of all, glaring hatefully at my husband when he dares suggest I find some new, fun hobbies for the next 8 weeks and shouting, “BUT I DON’T WANT TO DO ANY OTHER &&^%$ HOBBIES! I WANT TO DO WHAT I WANT TO DO!!!”

 

Charming, right?

 

So, I had to come to terms with the fact that I’m not the lemonade-from-lemons sort of girl. I’m mad as hell. Turns out, though, I can’t reasonably expect to have that sort of attitude for the next two months and still have a husband or children or friends who like me. And as much as I want to gleefully rip the throat out of anyone who suggests that this is just a bump in the road and I’ll learn something from the experience, I have begrudgingly come to terms with a few things this week that are helping me be less of…well, an asshole.

 

  1. Honor the disappointment. The more I tried to be accepting and generous about my setback, the madder I became. I realized that’s okay to be angry, disappointed, and upset. Sometimes, things happen in life that just suck and it’s perfectly reasonable to stop for a minute and be mad about it. Have a little whiskey (or a lot); shed a few tears.
  2. But don’t live there. I have a really hard time moving on from emotions that have me in their grips. Happy, sad, angry…I am ALL there for the foreseeable future. But living in the anger just breeds more anger. Living in the sad creates more sad. I needed to snap out of it.
  3. Take it a minute at a time. I was so angry about what happened (the past) and so disappointed about all of the things I would be unable to do this summer (the future), that it was ruining my present moment. I figured out that I don’t need to solve all of that. I just need to make this minute a good one. And then the next, and the next.
  4. Open your heart to the unimaginable. It was time to get creative. My husband was right (I just rolled my eyes as I typed that). I needed to figure out what I COULD do, even if it was modified. Turns out, I can still do yoga. Although side crow is out the window, I’m pretty good at dolphin. I can’t lift anything more than a pound, but I still have legs that run. And my hair looks better flat-ironed than in a pony tail anyway.

 

In a few months, this whole experience will be a blip in my memory. Time passes, wounds heal. I’ll probably be embarrassed by how I handled this at first. But what I really hope is that the attitude I FINISH with is the one that sticks with me.

 

I’m gonna go work on it, now…it’s gonna be a full time job. Brats don’t change their ways easily, you know.